| Eating Disorder Survey |
| *The Basics* |
| Name:: | SHANNON |
| Sex:: | FEMALE |
| Birthday:: | JUNE 20, 1986 |
| Age:: | 21 |
| Location:: | CALI |
| Hair Color:: | BURGANDY AND BLACK |
| Eye Color:: | BEAUTIFUL BROWN |
| *My Eating Disorder* |
| What Eating Disorders Do You Have:: | ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA |
| How Long Have You Had Them:: | ANOREXIA=2 MOS BULIMIA=1.5 YRS |
| Why Do You Have An Eating Disorder:: | BECAUSE I CANT STAND THIS FAT ON ME AND I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT SO I CAN BE A MODEL |
| Are You Proud or Ashamed of Your Eating Disorder:: | IM PROUD WHEN I SEE OTHERS LIKE ME BUT WHEN IM ALONE WITH "THE NORMAL PEOPLE" I AM ASHAMED |
| Do People Know About Your Eating Disorder:: | NO, AND THE NEVER WILL |
| Do You Wish People Knew About it:: | NO |
| Do You Wish You Never Had An Eating Disorder:: | NO |
| Do You Think The Media is Partially Responsible For Your Eating Disorder:: | NO |
| *My Body* |
| Weight Before Eating Disorder:: | 195 |
| Current Weight:: | WELL IT WAS 145 BUT I STOPPED HANGING WITH MIA AND ANA FOR AWHILE AND GAINED 30 LBS SO NOW IM 175. ME, ANA AND MIA ARE BEST FRIENDS AGAIN NOW. |
| Highest Weight:: | 215 |
| Lowest Weight:: | 145 |
| Are You Tired A lot:: | ALL THE TIME, EVEN IF I SLEEP FOR LIKE 9 HRS |
| Have You Ever Fainted:: | NO |
| Are You Cold All The Time:: | OCCASIONALLY |
| Do Your Ribs Show:: | NOT QUITE THERE YET |
| Do Your Hipbones Show:: | NOT QUITE THERE YET EITHER, ASK ME AGAIN IN 6 MOS. |
| Does Your Collar Bone Show:: | A LITTLE BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE THEM TO |
| Can You See Your Ribs Through Your Back:: | HELL NO! I WISH. IN DUE TIME ALL BONES WILL SHOW. |
| Do Your Thighs Touch:: | A LITTLE :( |
| Chest Size:: | 34 D |
| Does Your Head Look Too Big For Your Body:: | NO. AND I HOPE IT NEVER DOES. I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE JACQUELINE FROM AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL. SHES A BOBBLE HEAD HUMAN! |
| Are You Satisfied With The Way You Look Now:: | HELL TO THE NO! IF I WAS WE WOULDNT BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION. |
| If You Could, What Would You Change About Yourself:: | I WOULD BE NICOLE RITCHIE THIN WITH MY OWN BOOBS, I WOULD HAVE THE HIGHEST CONFIDENCE LEVEL AND I WOULD FEEL SUPERIOR TO ALL THE FAT PEOPLE. |
| What Is Your B.M.I.:: | 27% |
| What Do The Doctors Say is Your Ideal Weight:: | 150- 165. |
| What Do You Think Is Your Ideal Weight:: | 120-140 |
| *Thinspiration* |
| Who Are Your Thinspirations:: | NICOLE RITCHIE, HILARY DUFF, V. BECKHAM, REAL SKINNY GIRLS, AND KIERA KNIGHTLY |
| Who is Your Favorite Thinspiration:: | DEFINATELY NICOLE RITCHIE |
| Who is Your Second Favorite Thinspiration:: | HILARY DUFF, EVEN THOUGH SHE HAS A HORSE FACE |
| Why Do You Envy Them:: | BECAUSE THERE EVERYTHING IM NOT AND WANT TO BE |
| What's The Best Thing About Them:: | THEY ARE NOT ME |
| What's The Worst Thing About Them:: | THEY GET SCRUTINIZED FOR BEING THIN. ITS THEIR BODIES LET THEM DO AS THEY WISH TO IT. |
| Would You Trade Places With Them If You Could:: | DUH! |
| *My Mind* |
| Do You Consider Your Eating Disorder a 'Disorder':: | NOPE, I CONSIDER IT A WAY OF LIFE |
| Are You Pro-Ana/Pro-Mia:: | IM NOT SURE IF PRO MEANS AGAINST AND FOR. LETS JUST SAY THAT I BELIEVE IN IT |
| Would You Ever Want Your Best Friend To Have An Eating Disorder:: | NOT IF SHE DOESNT WANT TO |
| What Are Your Disordered Eating Habits:: | FASTING, THEN WHEN I CANT HOLD OFF NO MORE I BINGE AND PURGE |
| Are You Obsessive Compulsive:: | A TAD BIT |
| Are You A Perfectionist:: | SOMETIMES WHEN IT COMES TO CERTAIN THINGS |
| Do You Have Depression:: | I WOULDNT SAY I AM DEPRESSED BUT I DO GET DOWN SOMETIMES |
| Are You A Cutter:: | NO, I HATE PAIN |
| Have You Ever Been Suicidal:: | NO |
| Have You Ever Attempted Suicide:: | NO |
| Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Mental Reasons:: | NO |
| Have You Ever Been Hospitalized For Your Eating Disorder:: | NO |
| Do You Have Body Dismorphic Disorder:: | NO |
| Does Everyone Think You Are Too Thin:: | NOT YET |
| *Your Life Outside Your Disorder* |
| Favorite Color:: | RED |
| Favorite Movie:: | THE FIFTH ELEMENT |
| Favorite Book:: | ANGELS AND DEMONS |
| Favorite T.V. Show:: | LAW AND ORDER: SVU |
| Favorite Season:: | WINTER |
| Favorite Day of The Week:: | SATURDAY |
| Favorite Time Of Day:: | 8PM |
| Favorite Holiday:: | CHRISTMAS |
| Favorite Hobby:: | READING |
| Favorite Actor:: | JHONNY DEEP |
| Favorite Actress:: | ANGELINA JOILE |
| Favorite Musician:: | GOAPELE |
| Do You Have Any Pets:: | PITBULL PUPPY NAMED XENA |
| What Do You Like To Do In Your Spare Time:: | CHECK OUT ANA AND MIA WEBSITES, AND WATCH TV CAUSE IM BORING |
| *The Future* |
| What Do You Want To Study In College:: | IM STUDYING HEALTH INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY RIGHT NOW |
| What Career Do You Want:: | BE AN ACTRESS/ MODEL |
| Do You Ever Want To Get Married:: | OF COURSE! |
| Do You Ever Want Kinds:: | IF I HAD THE MEANS TO PROVIDE FOR SOMEONE ELSE LIKE THAT I WOULD HAVE A KID RIGHT NOW. |
| Where Do You Want To Live:: | ATLANTA AND LONDON |
| Will You Have Any Pets:: | YES, MOST LIKELY A TOY DOG AND FISH |
| What Type of House Do You Want:: | A BIG ONE WITH PALM TREES ALL AROUND IT AND A BLACK MARBLE POOL IN THE BACK WITH A HUGE WATER FOUNTAIN IN THE FRONT |
| What Goals Do You Have That Are Unrelated To Your Eating Disorder:: | ACTING, MODELING AND GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE NEXT YEAR |
| What's Your Number One Priority:: | GETTING SKINNY |
| How Do You Think You Will Die:: | HOPEFULLY IN MY SLEEP |
| When Do You Think You WIll Die:: | WHEN IM EXTREMELY OLD |
| Will You Be Missed By Anyone:: | I SURE AS HELL HOPE SO |
| Will You Have Any Regrets:: | EVERYONE HAS REGRETS |
| Will You Have Any Unfinished Business:: | UNFINISHED BUSINESS WILL REMAIN JUST AS IT IS: UNFINISHED! What nourishes me, destroy's me -Nothing tastes as good as thin feels -Thin people look good in any kind of clothes -Only I can let myself fail -People who eat are selfish and unrealistic -Don't you want to be remembered as the beautiful, thin one? -Don't let today's weakness ruin tomorrow's dream -When you start to feel dizzy and weak, you're almost there -Starving is an example of excellent will power -Guys will want to get to know you if you're thin. Not laugh at you and walk away. -Bones are clear and pure. Fat is dirty and hangs on your bones like a parasite. -Only fat people are attracted to fat people. Do you want pigs to like you because you are one of them? -Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food. -An imperfect body reflects and imperfect person -Anyone can have inner beauty. But very few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out. -Only thin people are graceful -Everything that ever goes wrong in your life is because you're fat. -You can never be too rich or too thin -Hunger hurts, but starving works! -There's always a reason to feel not good enough. -This is forever, I will do whatever it takes. -Dance as if no one's watching, and love as though you've never been hurt. Treat food as though you've never liked it anyways. I refuse to give in to the pathetic whimpers my body makes. I refuse to accept it's supposed limitations. I will cross every line it tries to draw. I refuse to live in a body that disgusts me. I refuse to pretent that i like being fat. I refuse to listen to those who will not hear me." -Light as a feather always feels better -The distance is nothing. It's only the first step that is difficult. -To be without some of the things that you want is an indespensible part of happiness. -Personality is born out of pain -Re-measure, re-weigh, try harder -I have a rule when I weigh myself. If I've gained weight I starve myself for the rest of the day. If I've lost I do the same. -Failure is taking the path that everyone else does; success is making your own path -If you imagine it you can create it. If you dream it you can become it. -You've come too fat to take orders from a cookie -Eat to live, but don't live to eat. -Everyone has the right to be beautiful -You can't measure pain on a scale -The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. -Craving is only a feeling -Nothing is so bad that eating won't cure -Nothing will matter when you're thin -I had a hole in my heart so I threw away my plate. Because nothing filled me up, no matter what I ate. -Food is an enemy, not a treat. The real deprivation is never being thin. - Thank goodness I can fix the outside because I just know the inside is beyond repair. -You'll be the envy of all the other girls -I'm just waiting for the day I feel good -Everything I want to be is merely buried under a layer of fat -Every day that I succeed, I get one day closer to my goal -You will not always hurt like this -Hold on to yourself because this is going to hurt like hell -Love not what you are, but what you will become -Of course it's hard. If it was easy then everybody would do it. It's the hard that makes it great. -Never lose sight of what you really want to accomplish - "I hear you're losing weight again, Mary Jane. Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for?" - Alanis Morrisette, Mary Jane. -You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. -You will come to realize that what appears today to be a sacrifice will, prove instead to be the greatest investment you ever made. -Sacrifice is giving up something for something better -If you can dream it, you can do it -It doesn't matter how slowly you go..as long as you don't stop -Do not think of today's failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow. You have set yourself a difficult, but you will succeed if you persevere and you will find a joy in overcoming obstacles. -Remember, no effort we make to retain something beautiful is lost -Measure your success by what you gave up to get there -"And so i went through the looking glass, stepped into the netherworld, where up is down and food is greed, where convex mirrors cover the walls, where death is is honourand flesh is weak. It is ever so easy to go, harder to find your way back." -Let me be happy and weightless, and maybe I'll find peace tonight! -Do not give up what you want most for what you want right now -We turn skeletons into godesses, and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -"Just when the caterpillar thought the world had ended, he became a butterfly." -Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us how not to want -The body says what words cannot -I'm not there yet, but I'm a little closer than I was yesterday -Every calorie you eat equals another step towards destruction -They dissed me, they jeered me, now I am going to be perfect. -I am all that I have, why is that not enough? You are all that I have, why is that not enough? -I strive daily to remember that the one man I love may one day love me when I'm thin -I do not struggle in your web, because it was my aim to get caught. But daddy long legs I feel that i'm finally growing weary of waiting to be consumed by you. -Pain is only as real as you allow it to be.

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